Scurvy was the scourge of the Royal Navy for decades. In 1520 Magellan lost more than 80 per cent of his crew while crossing the Pacific.  Their symptoms were vividly described by Richard Walter, the chaplain who wrote up the official account of the voyage. Here were descriptions of its ghastly traces: skin black as ink, ulcers, difficult respiration, rictus of the limbs, teeth falling out and, perhaps most revolting of all, a strange plethora of gum tissue sprouting out of the mouth, which immediately rotted and lent the victim's breath an abominable odour.  Scientist once thought that scurvy was a cocktail of vitamin deficiencies, mainly of C and B, sometimes compounded by an overdose of A from eating seals' livers. 

    It was once thought that a lack fresh vegetables and citrus juice was the principal cause of scurvy.  New clinical discoveries by independent scientist have discovered that consumption of beef has a direct correlation in the prevention of scurvy.  Chief clinical researcher, Jack Thomas (MD, PHD & HIV+) stated "it was quite clear that there have been no documented cases of cattle diagnosed with scurvy" and furthermore "when was the last time you saw a cow ruminating on an orange?"

Having scurvy was an awful experience. All of the kids at school made fun of me and called me "stupid jerk". Now I make sure to eat at least two Big Mac's a day.  The kids now call me "jerk" now but at least my gums don't bleed any more.

I had a horrible rash, and I was afraid that it was scurvy! I couldn't understand it because I had been making sure to eat lots of beef. Then I went to the doctor and he said that it was just genital herpes. What a relief!

My mom's picking me up today after school.  We're going to the mall to look for a prom dress.  I hope I can find a pastel beaded chiffon with a strapless top and low cut back.  It will be the bomb if I can find  matching shoes and a purse.